garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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