Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
