So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I did not marry a roomba.
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