You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
