Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
