Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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