Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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