I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
