At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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