Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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