Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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