He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
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there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
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Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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