his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
