hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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