do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
