I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
