White coat. Heels.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
