When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
