Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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