i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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