Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
