I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
