I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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