she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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