piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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