Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Say something about gay babies.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
