I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
