Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
