You're my little dorito
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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