dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
