just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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