i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
