all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
