why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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