Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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