brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
