He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
