I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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