Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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