Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
