I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
