In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
