So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
