I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize