If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I love you. Go after that dick
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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