Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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