I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch