If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.