Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  What happened to our ballroom dancing plans

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  (213): What happened to our ballroom dancing plans http://tfl.nu/sshq
  Replies (1) Good night (820) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.

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  (815): Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic. http://tfl.nu/2mbo
  Replies (4) Good night (3116) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.

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  (206): I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before. http://tfl.nu/t0my
  Replies (21) Good night (1054) Bad night (5967)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.

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  (918): he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy. http://tfl.nu/so4p
  Replies (5) Good night (1298) Bad night (2728)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Oh shit. There are penis maracas

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  (434): Oh shit. There are penis maracas http://tfl.nu/sti5
  Replies (4) Good night (1820) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.

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  (905): Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today. http://tfl.nu/u9so
  Replies (37) Good night (1288) Bad night (2966)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?

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  (414): I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I? http://tfl.nu/qaua
  Replies (10) Good night (502) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text

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  (404): also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text http://tfl.nu/b0kp
  Replies (3) Good night (405) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions

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  (787): antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions http://tfl.nu/y7o6
  Replies (4) Good night (765) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome

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  (269): Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome http://tfl.nu/saqv
  Replies (4) Good night (1391) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7

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  (816): Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7 http://tfl.nu/lqxi
  Replies (4) Good night (1089) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.

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  (206): The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter. http://tfl.nu/rlxt
  Replies (5) Good night (967) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.

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  (509): The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by. http://tfl.nu/ohjn
  Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.

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  (716): I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow. http://tfl.nu/y8yu
  Replies (3) Good night (457) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.

  (707): View more from California

  The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.

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  (510): I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no. (707): The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off. http://tfl.nu/haix
  Replies (0) Good night (902) Bad night (365)

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