Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Hey, what are you up to?

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): Hey, what are you up to? (802): Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds. (802): Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard. http://tfl.nu/ope5
  Replies (16) Good night (2562) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder. http://tfl.nu/fuyv
  Replies (20) Good night (597) Bad night (5406)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING http://tfl.nu/6fv4
  Replies (24) Good night (1104) Bad night (8849)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): 90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus http://tfl.nu/i6dy
  Replies (15) Good night (8121) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka. http://tfl.nu/p7s5
  Replies (4) Good night (5262) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand... http://tfl.nu/1d8q
  Replies (10) Good night (795) Bad night (4885)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips. http://tfl.nu/myh4
  Replies (5) Good night (2686) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave? http://tfl.nu/9xty
  Replies (17) Good night (1712) Bad night (2388)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ? http://tfl.nu/856o
  Replies (12) Good night (1703) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather http://tfl.nu/giov
  Replies (17) Good night (1558) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly http://tfl.nu/feuo
  Replies (5) Good night (831) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck. http://tfl.nu/fj8t
  Replies (29) Good night (899) Bad night (2012)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW http://tfl.nu/uzsx
  Replies (6) Good night (1202) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i hope they name him Joffrey

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much? (908): i hope they name him Joffrey http://tfl.nu/u3f8
  Replies (8) Good night (1172) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room. http://tfl.nu/hg5g
  Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (314)

Randomize