Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I feel like death. Did you die last night?

  (305): View more from Florida

  Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus

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  (859): I feel like death. Did you die last night? (305): Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta! (859): unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus http://tfl.nu/lgid
  Replies (8) Good night (2268) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

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  (207): I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid. http://tfl.nu/67sh
  Replies (15) Good night (6848) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I knew I liked you

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  (202): I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later (410): I knew I liked you http://tfl.nu/yvq5
  Replies (37) Good night (4418) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?

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  (803): you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money? http://tfl.nu/t6x6
  Replies (18) Good night (5908) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  you'll never guess what i found when i got home...

  (928): View more from Arizona

  a cake, in the toilet

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  (602): you'll never guess what i found when i got home... (928): a cake, in the toilet http://tfl.nu/md4l
  Replies (25) Good night (5752) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?

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  (412): You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy? http://tfl.nu/p3a3
  Replies (9) Good night (4096) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.

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  (905): the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/6bmb
  Replies (28) Good night (5540) Bad night (2522)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?

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  (304): what's not responsible about a pool full of beer? http://tfl.nu/7inf
  Replies (8) Good night (3089) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?

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  (717): I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman? http://tfl.nu/8vyd
  Replies (6) Good night (1964) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis

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  (817): She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis http://tfl.nu/sxjx
  Replies (13) Good night (2649) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.

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  (914): So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun. http://tfl.nu/n89x
  Replies (12) Good night (725) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.

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  (214): I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/rah7
  Replies (6) Good night (893) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.

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  (61): Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive. http://tfl.nu/0qk3
  Replies (5) Good night (516) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.

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  (360): Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/o30z
  Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order

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  (954): Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order http://tfl.nu/kxut
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (379)

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