Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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