I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
