Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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