I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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