I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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