Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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