Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
