Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just forgot I was standing up.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
