Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
