Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
