You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Ladies don't puke and tell
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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