you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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