literally had 100 drinks last night.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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