i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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